your room smells of hookers.
And success
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
