i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
