I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
