just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
