just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
