I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
