You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
