Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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