Define "chronic" masturbator.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Are we still banned from the library?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
