Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
