just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
