I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
