Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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