She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize