Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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