Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
