the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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