My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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