Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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