Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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