I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
