I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
