You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
