I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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