Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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