we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
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