dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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