why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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