Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
