Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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