my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
