apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
