Its about making memories worth repressing
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
