Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
