I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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