i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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