PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
