Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Randomize
