Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize