had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
