Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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