We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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