I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
love makes seman taste better
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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