Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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