He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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