please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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