Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you had me at cake vodka
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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