What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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