This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize