Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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