So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
