How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
