well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize