$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
