no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
