OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
