i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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