I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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