Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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