oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
