I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
