Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
