Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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