Dual....:-)
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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