Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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