lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
