if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize