They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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